My Hope, My Expectation for Me, My Nation, and the World

A paper topic assigned in one of my classes titled: “My Hope, My Expectation for Me, My Nation, and the World”

I suppose that hopes and expectations can run parallel, however I often notice that the words “hope” and “expectation” are not as synonymous as they might seem. Maybe the notion that hopes and expectations run counter to each other is harsh or unrealistic. I certainly have no empirical evidence to prove my argument. However, when I view the world and consider the issues at hand, my hopes are quite opposite my expectations.

I see greed that runs in the hearts of the blue collar to the white collar to the gold collar, and it has proven to be ruinous for our families, nation(s), and world. What else could I hope for other than for all people, myself included, to recognize this pandemic and address the issue? I hope for this. I expect that the outcome will be quite different. I expect greed to continue to remain untreated and socially acceptable. I expect power and pursuit of money to direct the hearts of many people all over our world. I expect that this will continue until greed and pride are so out of control and so absurd, that the world collapses under the weight of it all. Perhaps the current economic state is a clear example of this. A small percent of individuals in the world with the majority of the world’s money goes well beyond fair competition to stratification and in many instances, oppression. I hope for justice, but I do not expect it. This is only one example of the contrast between hopes and expectations, and I by no means am removing myself from the equation. I am part of the problem as well. I purchase well beyond what I need, but more so, many of my purchases support problems like sweat labor and boost foreign economies rather than my own. To be honest, poverty is an issue that has the potential to be irradiated. If the world was not consumed with living so far beyond what we need, we could feed and clothe and provide financially for the people who are trapped in a cycle of poverty. Dripping with disease, developing nations fall into debt and unstable governments while those inhabiting the land suffer for the greed of the rich. I hope that this will change, but I do not expect it to. Not much.

There may yet be an area where hopes and expectations can run together, though. In my own life, I have the potential to turn my dreams and hopes into reality. This is one benefit of living in a country that values freedom and progression. I hope that I will be a part of a much needed change. I expect that change will occur when those with a voice stand up and turn against the waywardness that has wounded our world. I hope to be a hand that helps remove the blindfold over the eyes of we who live in luxury, unconcerned with the state of our planet. The environment. The economy. The state of our minds and souls. The oppressed. The exploited innocence. I expect that some individuals, like myself, will stand against the conditions that take root in our hearts. I expect that we will live differently, not because it makes us look admirable, but because it is necessary to create any change.

I hope for this.

I expect this.

We are the antidote.

Murder Mystery

“There is a murder mystery this Friday.” The words were were mumbled as a cheap plastic looking glass was dropped haphazardly on the table in front of me. I did not look up as I let the words sink in. I felt a tinge of anger and injustice as I picked up the cheap piece of plastic and examined the blue plastic. Some might call it irony that the words “Made in China” were inscribed on the handle.

We have a condition. Truly, there is a murder mystery this Friday. After that, there is a murder mystery Saturday morning, and then the following evening. In fact, there is a murder mystery every day. The mystery is how we can be so detached from the reality of our world while we indulge ourselves on the fattening cycle of Western/European privilege. Is there no one to be found who is disturbed the fact that while we give our money to purchase useless items, people in our very own communities are sleeping in tents (in the winter) and slipping into drug use and hopelessness? Let us be clear for a moment before we get on the defensive, this is just as much our responsibility as it is the responsibility of the politician.

We choose to fritter away copious amounts of cash to make our time in life more “fun”. Is there something wrong with fun? By no means! However, there is something deeply unnerving about the disconnectedness between us (a generic term referring to the American public) and those in need. There is a deep level of corruption that runs beneath the barriers of international lines which allows disease and death to ruin and steal the lives of the innocent. There is an ingrained sense of “More! More! More!” which disillusions and pollutes our minds. In plain words, there are simply not enough resources to support our unhealthy standard of living and consumption or our exuberant spending that provides comfort and a false sense of justified security.

Are you satisfied knowing that you are a direct influence on the cyclical injustice that makes poverty, hunger, genocide and preventable diseases acceptable? That is what we do. Every time we chase after a white picket fence and shiny car, we close ourselves off to the world. We take that new car, roll up the windows and turn up the music when we drive through the slums  and when we see something the makes us uncomfortable. So you say, “Well these people don’t deserve it! They didn’t work for it!” You are right. They did not work for your money. That is probably because many of them are unable to. If a starving child were to be standing before you, would you tell them that they did not work for your money? That you were too busy living on too much? Does that help you sleep at night? They are standing before us. Right now.

Every day there is a murder mystery. Today, right now, a child dies. What do you do? What do we do? Keep buying our cars and buying the newest “necessity” for living? Who are we fooling?

Wake up, nation of fools. The murder mystery is solved and we are found guilty with evidence pointing its finger in our face. Case closed.

Lament

What makes you cry?

I started to go through the weeping prophet’s second book (Jeremiah/Lamentations) with a close friend of mine just yesterday. I used one of her bibles that was sitting nearby and read the introduction to the book. There were a few questions towards the end of the introduction asking if our hearts are moved for the same things that move God’s.

Jeremiah wept because of his beloved city, Jerusalem, which was ravished and left for dead by their enemies. He wept for the people- mothers, children, warriors- who had been overtaken by their adversaries. He did not weep because of wounded pride. He did not lament for only his personal loss. His heart was with the people and he acknowledged the truth that when God withdraws his hand of protection, there is no power of will or skill in battle that can keep us safe.

So when we look at our world and our life, when do we weep? Is it only in times of personal distress (not that this is wrong in iteself)? Or is it also when we see a world that is allowed to continue in its sin, unchallenged? Is it when we realize we have been standing by succumbing to excuses like, “it won’t make a difference anyway”? Do we weep when we see how money is hoarded by the few while the many die of treatable diseases and hunger? Do we weep for those things? Does our heart break for the same things that break God’s?

What’s your name again?

Sometimes when I enter into our sanctuary at St. Paul’s, I can feel a little overwhelmed by the vast number of people who I don’t really know. I have had a few conversations recently about the phenomena where we Christians enter into our time of communal worship but feel a strange disconnect with the people around us because we don’t know their names. (And we don’t dare ask because we might realize they have been coming for months and they already know our name).

I know that many of us have thought about this before, and it is one of the key issues with a church that begins to grow. We have discussed how we want to “grow smaller as we grow larger”.  The reality is that there is no way you will ever know the name of every individual from every service. This is our family. That is why we stress the importance of small groups and of developing close friendships and relationships. That is why we stress serving and interdependence. These things are vital for a church family who could feel estranged as we grow in number.

You do not have to know everyone. But you have to know someone. And someone will have to know you. That’s how this works. If we are involved and if we are following in community, we will begin to see who God is calling us towards. Those are the people who we end up investing in deeply. Those are the people (however many or few) who we pray with and have discussions with. That is how we develop a community. It’s not about knowing every intimate detail of the people around you, but discovering how God has equipped you to serve and be in relationships with certain families and individuals in this family.

Small Group

There is a lot I could say right now. It is incredible how much stuff can happen in such a short period of time. My day yesterday was a combination of awkward conversations, uncomfortable moments, weird emotions, and eventually a beautiful time of discipline and discussion with my heavenly Father.

Today I went to the Jazz service again. I have gone a few times before but I could never really connect. Today was different, though. Maybe it was my entry posture or something else, but the service was a blessing. Between the videos, the extraordinary music, and the message, there was not an untouched heart in the room. What is more, right after that I had to privilege of having my first 40 Days of Community small group meeting!

I had to preface this all by saying that although I have been a long-time (in the span of my life) follower of Jesus, I always had a natural distaste for small-groups. I’ve led them and been a participant in them, but for some reason I began to approach them will cynicism and a judgmental attitude as time went on. Fortunately God used some people in my life to kick me in the butt to get in the game this time around. After the Jazz service, our group met upstairs. After Rick Warren talked for entirely too long of a time, we began to get into a little bit more of a discussion about love- what it is and how we live it out. It was a great talk and we began to brainstorm about how we can practically apply it in our lives.

Needless to say, I’m very excited about this group. There are only six of us (3 couples) but I believe as we all approach these next 40 days in sincerity and under God’s direction, we are going to learn quite a bit! It’s gonna be a great ride.

To Grow, or Not to Grow

Perhaps it is just me. Or…it could be a deeper groaning that pours forth from my soul to reveal what God has been saying to his people for generations, but so few have been responding.

Perhaps our words are much too light and frothy to put any weight to what is expected in following Jesus. The struggles are the same today as they were in the early church:

(Heb. 5) 12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. (Ch.6) 1Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death,^[a] and of faith in God, 2instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. 3And God permitting, we will do so.

The letter of Hebrews was written to Jewish Christians who would have been well versed in the Old Testament. Apparently, they had been converts long enough for the author to call them out on their stunted growth. At this point in time, they should be teaching and living as mature Christians- not as infantile believers.

For some reason this does not seem to be a distant story that we can write off as unapplicable to the state of todays church. Some might argue that the church today is doing well. After all aren’t we starting to combat AIDS? Aren’t we serving more regularly and re-engaging the “lost” generation of 20-somethings and young professionals? Yes.

But.

Where is the knowledge and fear of God to match the passion and zeal? Where are the masses of Christians who take time in their every day life to pray, fast, meditate, seek solitude, and live in communion with our Creator? I see progress. But I also see people deceiving themselves into a very sly, almost unnoticeable, sense of self-righteousness. It may not be apparent at first. But it corrupts and formulates lies and pride from the inside out of the body of Christ.

We have a standard. God’s. When will Christianity today, the Church, stop being stubborn? When will the church be the leader? When will she stop comparing herself to the world around and begin preparing herself for Bridegroom? The church includes every believer. We are the Bride.

God has offered healing. He has offered grace. Freely. But many of us still turn and walk away. We choose our own wisdom and the wisdom of the world. We remain infants in our walk, because we must be reminded of the elementary truths over and over. There is an unmistakeble need for Christians who pursue maturity, who long to develop their relationship with their Creator, who long to grow up like a plant from the soil of the basic truths of our faith. Only God can grow you- but you must be willing. You have to put yourself in a place where you can be grown.

Maybe we will begin living like Jesus together. I can only imagine what that would result in.

“Everyone thinks about changing the world, but no one thinks about changing themselves.”

Panama End of Week 1

Quick Thoughts

It has been an enjoyable experience making some short films from the recent trip to Panama. I have not done film in quite some time, and I forgot how much I enjoy it when I have the creative freedom to design a film that tells a story and (hopefully as the short series ends) gets people excited about being involved. Not to mention, I also get to sit through 10 hours of footage and relive some of the memories of our trip.

I know a few people have been waiting for me to blog on some post-trip reflections, but in all honesty, Panama moved from the front seat in my mind the day I came back. There have been some things on my heart and mind that need to be immediately addressed because they are potentially life-changing decisions. I opened up the first short Panama film by saying, “Following God is a dangerous thing because you never know where you are going to end up.” This quote has never been so true in my life.

The best part about all of this “craziness”, is that I know it is all within God’s will. There is a lot he is saying about my life, about the Church, and about other things- totally my fault. I prayed some bold prayers, and now he is responding. So if there is anyone to blame, it is me. And I take total responsibility because the idea of being completely in God’s hands is not scary for me.

I love it.

Panama Day 1

All in a Days Work

I can’t believe I got all this done in a day!

Thought this was going to take 3 days. I still have some trim and touching up to work on…but for the most part it’s done! This all started with sorting out my clothes…which then inspired me to redo some other things in my life. I wanted my room to be more of a room/study/prayer space. It is now much more open. The walls all used to be white, the brown wasn’t originally there. Anyway, there ya go!